Renegade Heart
by moth-aflame
Summary: Jay was raised to think that there was only ever one way of doing things, and dating was one of them. So, what happens when renown ladies man Jay starts having romantic feelings for his best friend, Carlos de Vil?
1. Keep Quiet

Jay had always been insecure about his sexuality.

He knew he liked girls, it was just that...when he started to see other guys the way he saw girls...it scared him.

Was that even normal? Could someone even like both genders? Jay had no idea and had no one to ask about this. His father wasn't exactly the kind of person to sit down and give girl advice - or _boy_ advice, for that matter.

He wanted to talk to his best friend about it, he wanted to tell him so bad...but Jay was feeling these feelings _about_ his best friend. And he didn't think his best friend felt the same way about him.

The best way for Jay to address the problem was to ignore it completely, and that was what he planned on doing.

But, like most things in Jay's life, that plan fell apart.

The King-to-Be of Auradon extended an invitation to the children of Jafar, Cruella de Vil, the Evil Queen, and Maleficent to attend Auradon Prep - to prove that the spawn of Auradon's vilest criminals are innocent and should not be punished for what their parents did in the past.

The only problem Jay saw with this was that he'd still be in a position to allow his feelings for Carlos de Vil to grow.

But of course, Jay never gets to make decisions for himself. It's always his father molding his life, or in this case, his father _and_ Maleficent.

And so he was packed away into a Royal Limousine with his best friends to be sent away from everything they've known.

The ride there was the scariest thing he's ever done, or at least so far. He left all he had ever known before behind him and while he was doing so, feared for his life that his and Carlos' would end.

When the bridge off the Isle of the Lost ended, everyone in the limousine completely lost their minds. Jay tried pulling Evie, the Evil Queen's daughter and one of his best friends, to him and in the process threw Carlos into a headlock - as if the harder Jay held him, the harder it'd be for the crash to kill him. Mal, Maleficent's daughter and the "leader" of their tiny band of throwaways, was too far from Jay's reach for him to protect and yet still ended up almost in Evie's lap out of fright.

But their lives didn't end. Where the Isle of the Lost ended, the magic began and a new bridge formed. Which meant their "mission" began:

Infiltrate Auradon Prep.

Find the Fairy Godmother's wand.

Use it to open the Isle of the Lost back up to the world.

Prosper.

None of them were on board with the mission, but their honor and family legacy of evil depended on it. And so it would be a nice distraction from Jay's emotional woes.

And so far, Auradon Prep did not disappoint.

Everything Jay had pictured it would be like - grand staircases, golden furniture, anything possible - was so far true.

And while the welcome was luke-warm, the treatment was absolutely luxurious.

Jay had hoped to have his own room - or at least a native Auradon Prep student for a roommate - so he wouldn't have to continually struggle with his feelings at the sight of Carlos, but they had a roommate system and it "made sense" to keep the boys from the Isle of the Lost together.

It was supposedly to "diminish feelings of abandonment and isolation and to keep things feeling like home", or so Fairy Godmother explained when Jay asked if he could switch.

The bedroom they shared was plush and no expense was spared when furnishing it. They both had their own beds, and Jay quietly thought that it was better than his couch at home.

From the corner of his eye, Jay saw that Carlos was crying and knew immediately why. They had known each so long and knew each other so well that the answer came without a second thought: Carlos slept on the floor with nothing but a sheet back on the Isle, and the fact that he had more than that now was already making him have second thoughts about the mission.

It took every fiber of Jay's being not to comfort Carlos in his moment of need, but he didn't want to acknowledge these foreign feelings he was having. And he didn't want to hug Carlos out of fear of not being able to let go.

As they unpacked, Jay was distant...almost cold. But it didn't deter Carlos one bit. After his emotional "outburst" earlier, he was nothing but smiles as he checked the entire place out. He tested the bed about eight times, which Jay thought was cute (and immediately suppressed the thought afterwards), and laughed out loud as Carlos gasped and fell before the flat screen mounted on the wall.

"It's like all my dreams have come true," Carlos muttered as he practically worshipped every inch of the TV.

 _I wish you'd look at me like that,_ Jay thought silently and almost had to physically hit himself for having the thought.

 _He isn't going to feel that way about you. He has no room for it. None of us do._

"Well, if you like that, wait until you see what I swiped earlier," he didn't want to let what he was feeling be known, so instead, he pretended like he wasn't having an existential crisis over the freckled boy with knobby knees and a contagious laugh.

"...What is it?" Carlos inquired, almost suspiciously. He was always quick to think of the worst possible thing, and it was probably better that way. Jay sometimes did pull nasty pranks that fed off of Carlos' natural curiosity. Instead of pranking Carlos, however, Jay pulled out a laptop.

It wasn't the nicest one he saw, but he knew Carlos liked to look inconspicuous when he was ruining lives with his technology skills.

The look on Carlos' face was enough to know that what Jay had nicked from someone was as good as gold, and while Jay wanted to see that look every day for the rest of his life, he knew he wouldn't be able to sustain it.

Because what Jay was feeling was not right. You shouldn't feel that way about your best friend.

While Jay battled these feelings, Carlos got right to using the laptop. And it stayed quiet for awhile in the room, and Jay desperately wished his head could do the same.


	2. For the Better

Jay was a light sleeper, so when the sun rose, so did he.

He was always an early bird, he blamed it on his father constantly drilling one of his many mantras into his head: never waste an opportunity.

Back on the Isle, usually that opportunity was goods left unattended and ripe for the picking. But, at Auradon Prep, the opportunity was a good run and a hot shower before everyone started milling into the boys shower.

When Jay got back to the room at 7:15 sharp each morning, however, Carlos was always still asleep. Jay figured that, with all of Cruella's yelling and general craziness, Carlos learned to sleep around that and eventually trained himself to sleep through it when he discovered she wasn't yelling for him or any particular reason.

The way Carlos slept was very amusing. His covers were all off and on the floor, the bed was practically stripped, Carlos' mouth was open, and his arm was thrown over his eyes.

His hair was the best part. It stuck in every direction you could imagine.

But Jay's favorite part was waking Carlos up.

On that particular morning in their shared room, Jay realized that the little things, like watching Carlos sleep, were worth it. Even if they weren't together and never were. Jay just couldn't pass up the opportunity to just look for a while, and then wake him up as obnoxiously as possible.

So, he hopped onto the bed and started jumping, the small boy bouncing up as Jay's feet came down.

As soon as Carlos' head met the mattress, he jolted awake. There was always a little panic at first, but it subsided once Carlos realized who it was. His hand went up to smooth some of his untamed hair, to no avail, and he smiled warmly.

"Good morning, sunshine," Carlos greeted groggily as he snuggled back into the feathery down of his pillow. His eyes were about to drift shut when Jay grabbed the pillow out from beneath his head.

"Oh no you don't, Sleeping Beauty." Carlos snorted but sat up anyway, "Like I would ever be related to Audrey." Carlos' reply was matter-of-fact.

"Why'd you get me up so early, anyway?" It was a good question, granted, but Jay never really had good reasons to wake Carlos up early on the weekend.

"I wanted to jump on the bed, but I didn't want to mess mine up and yours already looked like a bomb went off." It wasn't true, but Jay was the Prince of Lies. He spun them so well, he could convince even Evie that the girls bathroom on the third floor had a magic mirror that doled out fashion advice (and he did convince her).

It wasn't the truth, but Jay couldn't tell Carlos that the real reason he woke him up on Saturday's was to see that vulnerable look he only got when he was tired. He couldn't admit to loving the way Carlos bantered back so easily and he definitely could not say that Carlos' nicknames in the morning gave him life.

While it was a lie, it was one told for the better. At least, that's what Jay thought.

It was better Carlos not know, and it was better that Jay did not act on his feelings. He'd only hurt Carlos in the end. In addition to being the Prince of Lies, he was the Prince of Thieves, and stealing Carlos' heart would not make his father proud.

And Jay had always wanted his father to be proud of him. Even if it meant Jay had to ignore his feelings.

But it was for the better. At least, that's what Jay thought.


	3. I Love your Hair like That

Tourney wasn't exactly Carlos' idea. He wanted to join the AV Club, but Jay had convinced him to try. For him.

In fact, it wasn't Carlos' idea at all to try tourney. The idea wasn't even meant for him. It had been Fairy Godmother's suggestion to try and quell Jay's aggressive displays of energy in Remedial Goodness.

Carlos grumbled all the way to the field, the gear he had been given by the Athletic Director all too roomy on his slight frame. It was all he could do to keep his shoulder pads from falling off, and when Carlos tripped over his tourney stick, he knew it'd be downhill from there.

Jay, laughing as he lifted Carlos up, however, knew that this would be great. He was playing a game that involved aggression, running, being with his best friend, and watching said best friend stalk ahead of him quickly. Giving him a great view of Carlos' backside.

Not everything fit Carlos right, but the pants did, and Jay could feel his ears turn pink as he briefly considered grabbing Carlos' butt.

It'd be okay if he said "good game" after, right?

Shaking off the thought, Jay waved and winked at the cheerleaders flirtily, paying special attention to Audrey.

She flipped her ponytail haughtily at him and Jay caught Carlos rolling his eyes in his peripheral vision. Ever since day one, the Rotten Four had agreed that Audrey was awful in every way. But she was easy on the eyes and didn't make Jay feel guilty for thinking of her in ways he had been thinking of his best friend lately.

Tourney try-outs were long and hard, but Jay was in his element. He was a quick-study and once he realized how to play, he was tearing down the field, knocking everyone out of his way. At one time, Carlos had been the victim of Jay's tunnel vision and after the end of practice, realized that Carlos was walking with a slight limp.

"Hey, you good?" Jay asked his best friend, concern evident in his voice and eyes. Carlos smiled ruefully, not wanting to upset Jay, "It's nothing, I'm fine."

But Jay wasn't convinced.

"I'm serious, what happened?"

"I rolled my ankle trying to get out of your way, it's no big deal." Carlos just wanted to drop the subject and get home. He hated making Jay feel like he was at fault for something that he couldn't control. He knew that, when Jay was in the zone, he was hard to pull out of it.

Jay had a look of anguish on his face as he realized that he had hurt his best friend, the one he loved. "I am so sorry, Carlos. I really did not mean to hurt you."

Carlos stopped walking and just looked at his best friend, Jay, Prince of Thieves and the bravest, most unapologetic person he knew.

Jay was admitting to Carlos that he had done something wrong, and he was deeply upset by it.

"Jay, it's really fine. Some painkillers and ice will fix it right - hey!" Carlos' voice spiked as Jay scooped him into his arms. It was so strange for Carlos to be that close to Jay without being involved in a painful wrestling match over the remote or the last peanut butter cup.

The sun was low in the sky and most of the other tourney players had already made it back to Auradon Prep. Jay shifted Carlos in his arms and continued walking, shaking loose strands of hair from his face so he could see where he was going.

"The only way for me to make it right is to carry you all the way back, and you don't get a say in this." He held his face high and tried not to look in Carlos de Vil's beautiful chocolate eyes. And Carlos just nodded, accepting this as a form of repayment for Jay's actions. He didn't think Jay was in the wrong, but still, it was nice to be carried.

Without thinking, Carlos moved the few loose strands of Jay's hair behind his ear, and watched as Jay's cheeks flushed. He was probably getting tired of carrying Carlos, but he wouldn't point it out. It'd only start an argument.

So Jay continued carrying Carlos and tried to keep his heart at a steady rhythm.

And Carlos looked ahead, heading back to Auradon Prep in the arms of his best friend that he cared about deeply.

How deeply, he hadn't thought of yet.

Not until they were in their dorm, where he watched Jay pull his hair out of his hair tie and watched as Jay slowly let his guard down. His face transformed from the default look of mischievous and cheeky to soft and worn.

It was about as vulnerable as Carlos had ever seen Jay and he felt his hands tingle as they remembered the feeling of Jay's hair.


	4. How Do I Know?

Mal had finally figured out what to do about getting Ben's attention - and it came in the form of a love spell, cleverly disguised as a chocolate chip cookie.

The Rotten Four had been up late, waiting for the cookies to come out perfect. As it turns out, Mal only needed one. But what she planned to do with the rest of them was a mystery to them all.

Jay was all for allowing things to happen or not happen at their own pace, however he was getting so tired of the unknown. Did Carlos like him? Was it even worth pursuing if they were just going to steal the wand and go back to the Isle? Back to their parents?

All of these questions were left unanswered.

And it made Jay angry.

As they waited for the last tray to finish baking - "what? No use letting this potion go to waste!" Mal had said - Jay rubbed Dude's back, deep in thought.

Dude was a new addition to the group, and as it turns out, Dude was ( _one of_ ) Carlos' best friend. Auradon Prep had changed all of them in so many ways, and curing Carlos' fear of dogs was one of these changes.

Another change was turning Jay into a thinker, and thinking wasn't one of Jay's favorite past times. He usually just dove into the situation without thinking of the consequences. But Carlos was a different matter altogether.

Jay could see them together, doing the things they've been doing for years - like wrestling and playing video games and comforting each other when their parents got to be too overbearing. He could also seem them doing new things - dates, Carlos wearing Jay's jersey before a big game, naps together…

"Hey," Jay felt a tug on a lock of his hair and was ready to punch before seeing Carlos' smile. "Are you okay? You're really grilling the back of Mal's head." Turning, Jay _did_ see that he had been staring Mal's head down. He felt the tips of his ears go pink and quickly pulled his beanie down to cover them.

It wasn't that Jay hated people touching his hair, it was just that Jay hated people touching his hair. But Carlos wasn't just any person. Carlos was Jay's partner in crime (literally), and his other half. It actually comforted Jay to have Carlos move it out of his face or braid it when he was in need of a distraction.

Evie, glancing at them from her perch on the counter with a Chemistry book open in her lap, noticed that Jay hadn't punched Carlos like he would've when they were kids...and she smiled, because she knew.

Carlos was her best friend in the ways that they shared fashion tips and made each other outfits, and he also confided in her. She knew his deepest secrets, even the ones Jay didn't know.

One of these secrets being Carlos' crush on Jay.

And of course Evie had noticed the way Jay looked at Carlos on a daily basis, and had pieced together his weird behavior and sudden softness. What she came up with was obvious - Jay was in love, and he couldn't quite figure out what to do with it.

But, Evie knew Jay as well as she knew herself. He was like a brother to her, just as Mal was like a sister. And so, Evie knew not to get involved. She put back on her reading glasses - the ones she only wore around her three best friends - and got back to studying.

She had a Chemistry test to ace, and a boy to make proud.


	5. Did I Mention?

To be honest, Jay didn't think the love cookie would work at all.

But when it did, Jay decided to keep the rest of it, "just in case".

He had stuffed it into his gym bag just as Carlos was walking into the locker room, nerves jangled and as pale as his hair. Carlos always looked ready to fall apart before every game, and today was no different.

Except for the fact that it was against their biggest rivals.

Carlos went to his locker and rested his head against it. It was sort of a ritual. It was his way of anchoring himself and calming him down momentarily. He did that for a few more minutes before finally opening the locker. He pulled out all his equipment and clutched it to his chest tightly.

"We'll do great today, Carlos," Jay clapped Carlos on the shoulder and squeezed before removing his beanie. He was about to put it in his locker, where it'd be safe, when Jay turned back towards Carlos. The safest place he knew.

"Um, hey, take this...for good luck," he cleared his throat awkwardly, not one for gestures such as these. It was probably the closest to romantic as he'd get. And Carlos just looked at him, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. Jay tried not thinking about how soft his lips looked and just placed his beanie in Carlos' hand.

"But I probably won't even play, Coach never puts me in," Carlos sputtered, trying to hand Jay his beanie back. But Jay wouldn't take it.

"He'll put you in today."

"How can you be so sure, though?"

"Have I ever let you down, 'los?" and with that, Jay headed to his locker and pulled out the rest of his equipment.

It was true, Jay never let Carlos down. And that was one of the reasons Carlos loved him, he realized.

Jay was always there when Carlos needed him.

And right now, Carlos needed Jay to know just what he thought of him.

The Fighting Knights were warming up, and Carlos was warming the bench. Jay sat next to him as Coach Jenkins gave them the game plan on how to execute a flawless win against the Falcons. Carlos knew it was a bad time to admit his feelings, and so he looked at the ground steadily, feeling his diaphragm flutter familiarly and dreading the panic attack that was bound to come.

When Coach Jenkins finished his spiel, he sent Chad Charming on to the field. Coach called Akio, about to take him out to put Jay in, when Jay jumped up and pulled Carlos with him.

"What about my buddy here, Coach?"

 _Oh no_ , Carlos sat down almost immediately. He would not be the reason the Fighting Knights lost to the Falcons. Not today. He didn't want to drop the "I love you" bomb after the team lost and Jay was feeling as though it was his fault (as he always did when the team lost). It'd just ruin everything.

But Coach was not having it, not one bit. Carlos hadn't even proven himself to the Coach yet that he deserved to be put in. But Jay wasn't going to take no for an answer. Carlos had improved immensely under the watchful eye of Ben, and Jay wanted Carlos to show everyone that.

"Coach, he's been practicing!"

"Jay -"

"And you said yourself, a team is made up of a bunch of parts -"

Carlos butted in, "Jay, um - I'm not that good."

"Well, he's kinda like my brain." Jay finished his pitch as though Carlos hadn't even said anything. And Carlos didn't say anything in response for a minute. Jay really thought of Carlos that highly? To consider him a part of himself?

Maybe Jay did love Carlos as well, after all. It was a constant fear of Carlos' that Jay didn't, and was only being nice to him because he was so small and always the target of bullying from Auradon's student body.

Coach sighed and looked towards the field, quickly scanning the players to see who they could do without. _It's worth a shot_ , Coach Jenkins thought, _and the team hasn't beaten the Falcons in years. What could possibly happen?_ Spotting one, he called out to Amir, who quickly ran off the field. Carlos was in, and it was all because of Jay.

Carlos didn't know whether to punch Jay or kiss him, and he didn't have time to decide because it was go time. "Don't worry, bro, I got your back," Jay squeezed Carlos against him and started towards the field.

"What about my front?" It was a real question, and Jay could hear the genuine concern in Carlos' voice, but Jay laughed anyway. He knew Carlos would do well. Great, even.

With one last look at the bench, Carlos squeezed Jay's hat (which was wedged between his shoulder pads and his undershirt) and headed onto the field.

There was twenty-three seconds left of the game. The Fighting Knights and the Falcons were tied and they needed one more point to win.

Carlos was making his way up the field, towards the opposing teams net when he was hip-checked to the ground by a Falcon. He landed hard on his face, knocking the wind out of him and for a moment, he just laid there. _I'm an idiot_ , he lamented to himself. _I look like a total dork, and Jay…_ Jay was right there, grabbing a fistful of Carlos' jersey and hauling him to his feet.

Jay was determined to win, and he was determined to show everyone that Carlos wasn't just a benchwarmer. He had skills and deserved to be there.

They enter the Kill Zone, Jay's hand firmly on Carlos' upper arm. Dragon Fire shoots at them at warp speed, Carlos' shield blocking some and Jay's quick maneuvering blocking the rest.

The two move as a unit, as if they had been moving like one for their whole lives, and only split when they're within range of the opposing net. Carlos is disappointed when they break contact, but a fierce look from Jay sends him towards the enemy.

They have a game to win.

Thinking on his feet, Carlos turns around quickly. If he planned it out correctly, they'd be able to set Ben up with a perfect shot at the net.

"JAY!" He calls, holding up his shield. He hopes Jay understands what he's trying to do.

"CARLOS!" Jay yells back in response, letting Carlos know that he understands and agrees completely. He dishes the ball hard towards Carlos' shield, where it goes flying right into the air and above Carlos

"Go up!" Carlos instructs Jay, dropping quickly to the ground and bracing himself for Jay's feet to connect with his back. But they don't. Jay jumps over him instead and hits the ball down, Ben waiting in the wings to hit the ball straight into the net.

The crowd is instantly a choatic mess, screaming and cheering so loudly that Jay can barely hear Carlos calling out for him.

Carlos was shouting, "I love you! I love you!" over and over, but Jay didn't hear it.


	6. I Never Really Cared Until I Met You

Carlos skipped victory pizza after the tourney match.

He walked past his teammates, all of whom gave him a quick slap on the back and a smile, and headed to the locker room.

He and Jay had set Ben up for the win today, and it had felt great. They worked as a unit - something they were encouraged _not_ to do back at home - and it had really made a difference. But Carlos could feel a pressure resting on his sternum, one of his tells that an anxiety attack was imminent, and felt his eyes well up with tears.

It wasn't enough that he had proven himself to Coach Jenkins, lived up to Ben's personal training, and showed everyone that Jay actually could see the good in others - but he had tried to admit his feelings about his best friend _to_ his best friend.

And his best friend hadn't even heard him, let alone saw Carlos beneath the wave of royal blue that had attached itself to him. While his team knew what Carlos had done to help the game, everyone else just focused on Chad, Ben, and Jay.

It was like Carlos was invisible once more.

Even now, as he was changing out of his uniform in the dark locker room, he felt as if he wasn't even a real person. Feeling as though the universe and everyone at Auradon Prep didn't want anything to do with him, Carlos threw his uniform violently into his locker. Thoughts racing, Carlos pulled his sweatpants on, a ragged white t-shirt, and stuffed Jay's red beanie into his pants pocket before picking up his gym bag and slamming his locker shut.

The thrum of metal sent a sharp pain up his shoulder, the pain doubling where his shoulder met his clavicle. It was definitely a pulled muscle, and the pain was as fiery as Mal's personality. Moving his right arm gently, Carlos ruled out a dislocated shoulder and sighed in relief.

At least one thing went right.

Before heading to his dorm, Carlos stopped to pick up ice from the Athletic Director's office. He wasn't there, but Carlos didn't feel bad for taking it. He had done his part on the field, he was more than entitled to it.

 _Thank you, adrenaline,_ Carlos thought bitterly as he stalked down the hallway, ice pack pressed against his shoulder almost aggressively. Dude came trotting up next to Carlos, following him on his warpath to a hot shower and video games.

Instead of going to his and Jay's shared room, however, he somehow ended up in front of Mal and Evie's door. Before he lost the nerve, Carlos knocked four quick, sharp knocks - the Rotten Four's secret knock - and let himself in.

Evie sat in the center of her bed, wearing a loose blue t-shirt with "Go Fighting Knights!" stitched into it lovingly. She'd never wear it outside of her bedroom, or around anyone ever period, but Mal was out of the room and she didn't appear to be expecting company.

Which was why Carlos crawling onto her bed and laying next to her with a sigh was such a surprise. She bookmarked her book and removed her reading glasses so she could scoot down and lay face to face with him.

Dude jumped onto the bed to join them, wedging himself between Carlos and Evie.

"What's wrong?" Evie whispered, her eyes lighting on the ice pack quickly before meeting his chocolate eyes.

"I tried telling Jay I loved him after we won the tourney match."

Evie's jaw dropped, thinking back to earlier that day on the field. She briefly recalled seeing Carlos, his mouth forming the words "olive juice" over and over. Then he disappeared beneath the mob.

"And I sprained or pulled something in my shoulder and can already feel the bruise."

 _Poor Carlos_ , Evie thought as her hands moved to stroke his dirt streaked face. Nothing ever seemed to go in his favor. Not lately, anyway. Not since home.

Evie captured Carlos' other hand, which had been stroking Dude and pulled it up to where the space between them was largest. She rested their hands there on her mattress and just stayed there with him, basking in the silence. With everyone celebrating the Fighting Knights win, the dorms were quiet. And Mal being with Ben made everything that much more peaceful.

At some point, the two fell asleep, holding each others hand. That was the only contact they made.

When Jay came across the two, Evie with her hair mussed and unmade and Carlos was a melted ice pack on his shoulder, he couldn't help but leave the two alone and go back to his dorm alone.

Feeling utterly heartbroken.


	7. Goodbye, My Almost Lover

Jay didn't sleep at all that night. Not after seeing Carlos and Evie together.

His mind was cycling through all the possibilities as to why they were laying together - but Jay could only think of how close they had become since the Isle. Maybe they were so close that he hadn't even realized they had a thing for each other…

 _How could I be so stupid?_

As soon as Jay finally nodded off from exhaustion, it was if he was only asleep for a few minutes before the door creaked open and his eyes sprung open as well.

"Oh, um, you're still asleep?" Carlos' dual-toned hair stuck in every direction possible and he was rubbing sleep from his eyes.

 _Evie_ must have just woken him up.

Embarrassed that he was still in the clothes he had went into the locker room with yesterday, Carlos made a beeline for his dresser and started looking for an outfit for the day. He honestly hadn't expected Jay to be in the room, he didn't even consider it an option. It was 7:00 AM now, and Carlos figured he had a fifteen minute window to get in and get out before Jay came back.

"Yeah, I was up late partying with the boys." Jay rolled onto his back, trying to keep his cool. He just felt so... _dumb_ for thinking him and Carlos had a chance at all. It was crazy, right? To think that?

Carlos could have anyone he wanted, and of course it would be Evie. She was beautiful and smart and a _princess._ She had more in common with Carlos than Jay did…

"Sorry I didn't make it to victory pizza, I was -"

"In bed with Evie?"

And it was out. Jay hadn't meant to play his cards right then and there, but Jay needed to know if they were a thing. He needed to know so he could put all this nonsense behind him. Jay didn't want to be strung along longer than he had to be.

"In bed with _Evie_? ...oh, Jay, that wasn't -"

"It was _exactly_ what I thought it was, wasn't it?" Jay felt his temper rise. They were, if anything, always honest with one another - which was so hard for Jay, because lies came easier than the truth for him.

And for Carlos to be lying to him right now, well, that was icing on the cake.

"I'm your best friend, Carlos! You're supposed to tell me these things, like if you have a god damn crush on Evie!" He was raging at this point, having hopped off the bed taken to pacing between their beds. A breeze tousled his hair and Jay pushed it away aggressively.

There would be no time for Pocahontas-hair shenanigans, not at a moment like this.

"A crush on Evie? Jay, are you absolutely nuts?" It was almost comical, how bent out of shape Jay was getting about this. If he had had a crush on Evie, he would have told him first.

But the person he actually had a crush on, well...that was another story. One that may have been ending right before his eyes.

"Jay, Evie has been like a sister to me ever since she came out of castle-schooling and joined us at Dragon Hall. I love Evie, but not in the way you're thinking I do."

The amount of honesty in Carlos' words stopped Jay where he paced like a caged animal. It was true, the two had taken to each other like ducks to water and they had never once expressed interest in each other romantically. Besides, Evie only went for… _princes_.

Jay's face flushed in embarrassment, having blown the whole thing out of proportion, But there was still the issue of Carlos going to Evie instead of him for comfort...

"Oh, well, uh, I guess I'm sorry for the accusation - but you guys - you were…"

"I was in Evie's bed because that's where I fell asleep. It's as simple as that. I went to see Evie because I didn't feel like going to tourney pizza and I knew she'd be able to… You kow what? Nevermind."

So close, and yet so far, Carlos thought as he shut his mouth. This was not a conversation to be had today. Or ever. Not with Jay.

Jay could never know what Carlos was feeling for him, because it wasn't right. You weren't supposed to fall for your best friend, especially if they were the same gender, right?

Without thinking, Jay moved closer to where Carlos had his back to him.

"What could Evie understand that I couldn't?" His voice was so low, so full of concern and hurt that Carlos couldn't take it anymore.

"This."

And without saying anything more, Carlos grabbed Jay by the front of his night shirt and pulled him down, colliding his mouth with Jay's.

But Jay didn't respond. He was just so shocked that Carlos felt the same way that he couldn't even process what was happening.

When they separated, Carlos didn't look at Jay. He finally had his answer.

Jay hadn't kissed him back. He didn't feel the same.

"I have to go, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

Carlos hurried out of the room, tears filling his eyes and his limbs shaking violently. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but no one ever told him rejection would taste like heartbreak and pepperoni pizza.


	8. Is There Somewhere You Can Meet Me?

After what had happened in their dorm, Jay was running around like a mad man trying to find Carlos. When he had kissed him earlier that morning, Jay didn't respond. Not because he didn't like it, in fact Jay _loved_ it, but it was because he was so overwhelmed that Carlos felt the same for him.

And Jay needed to tell him that.

It was Saturday, which meant no classes. While there wasn't any classes, there would be no practice either because of last night's win.

Which meant finding Carlos would be virtually impossible without help.

Sprinting through gaggles of girls, Jay ignored their offers to hang out and go on dates and made a beeline for the dorms. There was only one girl he wanted to talk to right now, and that was Evie.

But when he found her, she did not want to talk to him. Not at first, at least.

Evie was standing with her back to her mirror. Shooting Jay a poisonous glance, she didn't say anything and returned to the task at hand: which was...actually, Jay had no clue. Mal just stood there and allowed Evie to hold up different outfits to her, sometimes making a face at them in disapproval.

It was clear neither of them wanted to speak to him, and that was fine. That made Jay feel better, actually, because that meant that Carlos had been here and had told them what had happened. Which meant that Jay was _that_ much closer to finding him.

"Listen, guys…" Jay was interrupted by a sharp look from Mal, and her eyes shone bright to silence him.

"If you're looking for him, he isn't here," Mal informed, "And he _really_ does not want to see you."

Evie's mouth was set in a hard line as she compared different outfits.

"You know, I think this matches your complexion, and if Carlos was here _like he was supposed to be_ he'd say the same thing." Mal smiled sweetly and took the selected outfit to the bathroom to change. As the door shut, dead silence and tension hung thick in the air as Evie crossed her arms across her chest and stared Jay down.

It wasn't easy, being best friends with a girl like Evie. She knew everything about you, so you couldn't even pretend to play tough. Jay always deflated around her.

It was almost like he could physically feel the air leaving his body, his carefully built Isle image crumbling beneath her gaze.

"I had no idea he felt that way about me."

"Well, he does and he's really hurt and embarrassed right now." Evie turned away from Jay and started putting the vetoed outfits back in her armoire. She needed to busy herself, or else she'd really lose it. Evie _loved_ love and seeing it in this lighting was making her heart hurt.

She wanted Carlos to be happy for once, and she especially wanted Jay to finally accept that his sexuality was a part of him.

"You know, you try to hide it so well, Jay. You really do," Evie conceded, turning to the thief she had been through Hell and back with over the past month. She had told herself she wouldn't lose it, that she'd give him the silent treatment, but...that just wasn't her.

And she really wanted Jay and Carlos to work out.

"It's almost as if you believe that you can ignore what your heart says, but you _can't_. You can't put a stop to what you're feeling just because you're told by one person that it's wrong," Evie rubbed at her eyes, effectively smudging her carefully done eyeliner.

Evie was the only one that knew about Jay's sexual confusion, and she was the only one who had known about Jafar's "pep talk" to stomp out the "impurities" in Jay's mind.

Remembering this, she pushed on, not knowing what else to do with herself. Jay had to know that what he was feeling wasn't wrong. "But let me tell you something, Jay: they do not know what you're feeling because they are not you, and you are not them. I know it's hard living with parents like ours, but coming to Auradon has really shown me that what my mother has told me my whole life isn't true."

Jay felt his throat constricting, a lump preventing himself from swallowing down the emotions that were trying to make an appearance. His feelings were something he wasn't equipped to deal with on the Isle, but now...it was something completely different. He _could_ let it out, and he could confide in a friend. He had never had anyone who was this honest and cared as much about him as Evie did.

"I hope you can realize that as well, that your father doesn't dictate your life choices and he does not get to decide who you love. You're born the way you are and if you being born this way is wrong, I don't want to know what's right. Because you are such a good person, Jay. Even if you like boys or girls. And I'll always be here to support you and hold your hand when you need it."

Jay pulled Evie to his chest in a tight hug, laughing a little at the hand holding part. She was always the first he grabbed for when he was scared, even on the Isle. And he was doing that now, grabbing onto her because he was scared of what would happen once he saw Carlos.

They stayed that way and cried for a few minutes before finding themselves again. Taking a few minutes to compose himself, Jay finally released Evie from his vice grip of a hug and smiled a watery smile.

Placing a kiss on Jay's cheek, Evie smoothed Jay's vest down and looked at the door where Mal had been watching. She was always one to eavesdrop.

"We gonna tell him where our sunshine is?" Mal asked in a teasing tone, knowing full well that Evie and Jay were back to best buddies. Plus, she loved playing protective dragon over Carlos.

"I suppose," the blue-haired mess replied cooly, looking in the mirror and sighing quietly. "We'll leave it for you to fix, Jay. But let it be known that, while I'll always be here to support you, I will personally kill you if you ever tell _anyone_ you saw me this way." And just like that, they were back to normal and Mal was leading Jay out.

"Okay, so where should I be looking?" Jay was anxious to find Carlos, and Mal didn't want to torture him any further.

"The path right off the tourney field where he found Dude."

The cracking of twigs alerted Carlos that somebody was here, and Carlos briefly hoped that it was Evie with the snacks he had asked her to bring.

But, instead, he got Jay.

And he didn't know which was worse: the absence of snacks in his moment of need, or having the person he had just confessed his feelings to come to his quiet place.

They both stared at each other for who knows how long, Jay twisting a bandana in his hand nervously and Carlos picking at the log he sat on.

The silence was growing to be suffocating, and it felt as if Carlos had cotton in his ears because he couldn't hear anything but the tension.

"Do you...wanna sit?" Carlos finally offered, breaking his gaze away from Jay's to stare at the ground.

"Uh, yeah, I could sit." Jay sat down on the log, leaving a decent amount of space between them. This would be harder than he thought.

More silence ensued before it was broken by Jay, his voice low, "About this morning…"

Carlos closed his eyes and inhaled before he finally answered him. "I'm already over it, Jay. We don't need to do this."

The son of Cruella de Vil felt the son of Jafar staring at him and fought against the urge to meet his gaze. It would just get messy if they did this, and Carlos was really tired of cleaning up messes.

"That's the thing, Carlos. _I'm_ not over it."

"Look, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable it's just that I -"

Carlos was silenced by Jay's lips crashing into his. While Carlos had been trying to apologize and explain himself, Jay had closed the distance between them and taken Carlos by surprise.

And what a surprise it was.

Jay cupped Carlos' face in his hands, caressing Carlos' checks with his thumbs. The kiss was full of so many things: hurt, anger, regret, and above all, _love_.

The younger of the couple snaked his hand into Jay's hair, tangling his fingers and deepening the kiss with a gentle tug.

When the two resurfaced for air, their cheeks were flushed and they both looked like they had so much to say.

"I'm sorry it was so long overdue. There were some things I had to figure out about myself…" Jay rested his forehead against Carlos', who only smiled in response.

"It took you long enough."

"I spent so long trying to ignore what I was feeling for you because my dad told me it was wrong, and I really didn't want to disappoint him again...but I guess I have a renegade heart, because it stopped listening to my head and finally gave in to what it wanted."

They laced their fingers together and Carlos scooted closer. "And what did your heart want, Jay?"

The answer was, for once, simple.

"You."


End file.
